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    DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

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    DCBurke
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    DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by DCBurke on Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:23 pm

    Here's the first section, it'll be a say maybe 20 page short story, so enjoy please this teaser, and give me suggestions


    Today’s date: March 28, 2011.
    My name is Dave Burke, I’m the Emergency Response Team National Director, and District Commissioner for the Phoxlind/National ERT Headquarters. I live a normal life, with a wife, two daughters, a yellow lab named Gunnar and a long hair Persian, Shilo.
    Today started like any other day, I woke up, got a shower, and dried off, to be greeted by the smell of bacon as I stepped out of the on suite bathroom in my large home. Getting dressed, I chose my regular duty shirt, and a windbreaker, as opposed to my dress uniform I wear when on duty for larger calls.
    Stopping to look in the mirror to ensure I’m up to standards before leaving my house, I notice a few strands of grey starting to show in my brown crew cut hair, although no wrinkles have made their way to the surface of my 45 year old skin.
    Stepping down into the eat in kitchen, I see a plate of bacon and hash browns sitting on the island. Gabilia, my wife, just picking hers up before sitting down at the table to eat breakfast with our daughters with me.
    “Thank you Gabbie, looks delicious as usual.” I say as I take my place at the table, the girls almost finished theirs. “Anything interesting happening at school today girls?”
    Jennifer, my oldest daughter, thirteen years old, answers for the two of them. “Yeah Daddy, the school trip to the Shakespeare play in Mount Phoxlind.”
    “Victoria too?” I ask, referring to my twelve year old.
    “Yes honey, it’s something new they’re trying, early immersion into the plays” Gab answers.
    “Sounds like fun, too bad we never had too much stuff like that in Newfoundland” I say, making reference to where I grew up.
    After several minutes of chitter chatter, we each finish up, and get ready to head to our respective day’s works. Gabbie taking the girls, and me heading to work on the interpass. I pull on my standard duty black windbreaker and head to the driveway, where my grey ford f-350 is parked, complete with push bar and hidden LED light system. I pull out of the driveway through the gate and watch the Canadian and American flags fly in my rear view mirror.
    While waiting at a light, I check the Emergency Access Terminal located on my centre console, and see I have a new urgent message from FBI agent. I press play and listen as I drive.
    “Hi David, it’s me, Jack, Supervisory Agent Jack Fornell,” Recognizing the name as my former unit officer when I was a medic on the Tactical Ambulance, Jack, then only a sergeant, left shortly after I got promoted and joined the FBI. “I need you to call me, check your email, we’ve got something big here. I’m staged by Johnson; they’re all going out of the building to Mount Phoxlind for a field trip, so we’ll be clear there”
    I recognize Johnston, as Johnson Private School, my children’s school, and the field trip to our neighbouring city, on the other side of the mountain. I then pull over and read the urgent message, before doing a quick u-turn and heading to the command post code 1.
    As I pull into the parking lot behind the school, I shed my ERT jacket, and pull a dark jacket I left in the front seat on over my now bullet vast clad uniform shirt. I walk quickly into the door of the unmarked command post the FBI have set up, and see Jack sat at a desk, turning to me with a worried look on his face, only lightening slightly when he sees me


    The rest will be an adaptation from the actual call itself


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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by DCBurke on Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:26 pm

    The full version I'll post as an e-book for a couple dollars donation, to support ERT. This will probably make more money for the site than shirts and merch, just because each one can earn 4 dollars for a 5 dollar donation, if not more!

    If we raise enough to pay for the ip.board licence, I'll buy the server with my own cash, and cover the rest of the costs, until we get a more stable setup


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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by D.McGuire on Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:28 pm

    Nice, I like it so far.
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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by DCBurke on Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:34 pm

    I'll basically pick up now where the call starts, and continue from my POV, will take maybe two more nights, then I'll host it on our site for a download. Suggest prices you think reasonable?
    ($5 a piece will need 38 copies sold to get the board covered. The more we sell, the better things we get though)


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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by Jack Anders on Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:01 pm

    Maybe make it a little longer of a span and make it more like a book. This will take moe time but probably make a little more cash.
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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by M.Daniels on Tue Aug 02, 2011 1:46 am

    Personally; I love it. Would be be able to donate more than the price? I really want the licence! Smile How much is the licence?

    Also, would you be able to add things that add little snippits of us like: "Mitch Daniels, who has pretty much been on every unit here at ERT was fighting the blaze on the top floor". I think that would be awesome!
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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by C. Davis on Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:41 am

    Yeah I mean novels cost like $15. I have one of those e-book things so I'll buy it haha. I think it would be pretty cool.
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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by J. Hannahan on Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:52 am

    I wanna read the rest!!!! It looks really cool Burke. I'll buy it if need be. Also, is the school Johnson or Johnston?
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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by DCBurke on Tue Aug 02, 2011 1:28 pm

    Johnson, if I hit Johnston, that's because they own the building I'm stationed in for the summer.

    And It'll probably be around 20 something pages in the end. Not a novel, barely worth two chapters, so it'll just be one long short story, and I'll probably host it on our site, download page active after making a $5 (or More) donation to the ERT, and I'll do that with the stories I write periodically


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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by S. Morrigan on Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:28 pm

    I have a suggestion:

    if any of you have real World War Z or books with a similar concept, it's exactly what I was thinking. It's something I've wanted to do for years with this very subject (Emergency Services)

    essentially, the book would be a collection of 1-3 page stories written from multiple POV's. It's popular to do this style in some war novels. They can be written chronologically or in our case, we could organize it into 4 parts: 1 per branch, and DC stories
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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by M.Daniels on Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:25 pm

    I would like that! PM me with some details, I could write some things. After all I won $500 in my school writing competition. Razz
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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by DCBurke on Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:33 pm

    I think I'm going to finish this call, since it's huge, then I'll do it smaller calls, only a few pages long


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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by DCBurke on Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:59 pm

    I just wrote the actual explosion. This one will take probably til the weekend to complete, but the rest will be much shorter


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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by EwanRaven on Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:28 am

    Accepting paypal?


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    Re: DC Burke Starter Story, Phoxlind Attacks

    Post by DCBurke on Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:42 pm

    Of course, to accept credit would cost more than it'd be worth, and debit twice as much!


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